Random Financial Advice Generator Amuses, Baffles

Submitted by Chris Gaetano on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 12:14

“In unsecured sectors, plan to leverage defaulted systemic risks.”

“The smart investor this season will be sure to prepay counterparty stocks. “

“In mezzanine markets, never amortize revenue-neutral derivatives. “

Sage advice from an experienced private wealth manager? No, it’s the computer-generated wisdom of the Random Financial Advice Generator, a program only slightly more sophisticated than a Magic 8-Ball which strings together finance buzzwords into sentences that are packed with just enough dense jargon to make it appear, to the untrained eye at least, as if it just might know what it’s talking about. All you need to do is press the button and you’re set up with a lifetime’s supply of financial gobbledygook that you can use to impress your friends and confuse your enemies.

And what happens when the advice pans out and you’ve got a thriving business on your hands? Why, you load up the Random Corporate Slogan Generator, of course.
 

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